A newlywed woman revealed heartbreaking news about overhearing what her new husband and his friends had said about her.
In a clip from “The Dr. John Delony Show,” a podcast where the host, Delony, offers advice to listeners about relationships and mental health challenges, a new bride claimed that she was unsure how to navigate her marriage after learning how her husband and his friends viewed her.
She admitted that her husband and his friends had been making fun of her.
“I overheard my husband’s friends and him making fun of me,” a woman named Emma revealed after calling into Delony’s show. She explained that they are both newlyweds and, after their honeymoon, her husband and his friends were on a video call. She popped in to say hello and chatted with them for a bit before excusing herself to go for a walk.
However, Emma had to turn back after forgetting something and because everyone thought she had left, she ended up overhearing her husband’s friends asking him about the honeymoon. “Eventually, one of his friends asked if my looks were still a problem for him,” she shared.
She heard her husband respond that he thought she was still beautiful on the inside, despite having a preference for “lighter-skinned” and “slimmer girls,” before claiming that “we can’t have it all.” His friends proceeded to ask if he felt that he had “downgraded,” which he agreed with.
Unfortunately, it got worse. One of her husband’s other friends chimed in and suggested that it would probably help if she lost some weight, which only served as another hurtful comment.
“Right now, nothing feels the same anymore and I’ve been ruminating, wishing that I didn’t turn back,” Emma admitted before Delony quickly interjected and promised that she did not make the biggest mistake of her life and was heartbroken for her that she had to find out all of this information the way that she did.
Delony explained that due to her husband’s rude remarks about her, their marriage was no longer a safe space.
Delony admitted that he had a bunch of thoughts pertaining to what Emma had told him, mainly directed toward her husband, but since he wasn’t here, Delony emphasized that he only cared about her well-being. He asked if she had gone to her husband and told him about what she’d overheard, but she said that she hadn’t.
She claimed that she felt embarrassed for having turned back in the first place and knew that if she brought it up, it would only make her husband feel bad.
“He should, you don’t need to protect him,” Delony stressed. “He’s a grown man. If he’s gonna be telling his friends and a bunch of women that ‘I had to go with JV’ in the looks department, then he can be a grown man and look you in the eye. You didn’t screw up, you don’t need to defend him. He’s clearly okay having conversations about you and your body out to the public.”
Delony pointed out that the only person he’s not having these conversations with is his own wife. He also explained that because Emma is not telling her husband what she knows, and he’s not telling her how he feels, the home they’ve created together is now threatened.
“You live with a threat now,” Delony told Emma. “You’re gonna create a special, safe cocoon that only you live in and he’s not gonna know what it is. He’s just gonna know that his wife is distant from him.”
Delony continued, informing Emma that there is now a huge gap in their marriage, and having a discussion with him isn’t going to solve how he feels about her because the biggest issue isn’t the fact that he said those things in the first place, but is a violation of trust and privacy.
“I don’t want you to avoid this conversation and wake up in five years and still believe you’re married to a guy who doesn’t find you beautiful,” he added.
In the end, Delony recommended that Emma have a hard chat with her husband about what she overheard, because nothing can be solved if they don’t.
This husband’s behavior is extremely problematic and disrespectful, and while there is no way to know if their marriage can be salvaged, the first step to mending that broken trust is to have an open and honest dialogue about how the words of her husband and his friends made Emma feel.
A marriage cannot be built on a lack of loyalty and support, which is what Emma’s husband has exhibited.
The future of Emma’s marriage to her husband solely lies on him, and whether or not he will take accountability for the harsh words he not only said but allowed his friends to say as well, and whether or not he is willing to work on rebuilding what was instantly lost after she overheard his conversation.
It is going to be a long and hard journey to get back to the relationship they had before this huge bomb was dropped, and regardless of whether Emma and her husband can come out of this on the other side, it’s clear that her husband’s words deeply affected her.
At this point, she should put her own happiness first and prioritize taking control of her life instead of leaving room in it for someone who clearly doesn’t appreciate her.
